(NEEDLE PUNCTURES) (LIQUID SLOSHES) (EGG SQUELCHES) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) - ALL: Elisabeth! Elisabeth! (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) - We love you! Elisabeth! - We love you! - PHOTOGRAPHER: Love you, Elisabeth! (ALL SHOUT) - PHOTOGRAPHER: Elisabeth, we love you! (ALL CHATTER) (LAUGHTER, CHATTER) - Let's do it, Grandma. - My favourite. - WOMAN: Wanna get something to eat? - MAN: Yeah, get a pretzel or something. (TILE CRACKS, WIND HOWLS) - WOMAN: You remember her? - MAN: She was in that movie, uh... Ah. (THUNDER CRASHES, RAIN PATTERS) - We're gonna have to let her know` - Yeah. I'll shoot her a text. (WHEELS RATTLE, PIGEON COOS) - Yeah, he owes me 20 bucks. - Are you kidding? (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (WIND HOWLS) (CAR HORNS HONK) (MAN SHOUTS) (CAR HORNS HONK) (FOOD SPLATTERS) (JACKHAMMER POUNDS, CAR HORNS HONK) - MAN: Shit. (CAR HORNS HONK, TRAFFIC HUMS) (SAUCE SQUELCHES, CAR HORNS BLARE) (JACKHAMMER POUNDS) (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) - You got it. Feel that power, lady. And mark, get those knees up. You got it. Come on. Front. Kick. Kick. Oh yeah. You got it. Square. Think about those bikini bods. You wanna look like a giant jellyfish on the beach? Come on. Cross. Push. Kick. Come on. You got it. Hang in there, ladies. You've got it. You've got it. Whoo! Ah. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Great workout, ladies. All right, I hope I see you next week for Sparkle Your Life. We're gonna work on the lateral abs. You know, the most difficult part to sculpt. But in the meantime, take care of yourself. (BLOWS) (LIGHTS THUD, BUZZER SOUNDS) - MAN: All right, back to position one. - Great job, ladies. You got it. - WOMAN: Let's get these lights down. - Whoo. (ALL CHATTER) (DOOR CLICKS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SOFT MUSIC PLAYS) - Happy birthday. - Oh, thank you. - Happy birthday. - Oh, thank you. - Happy birthday. - Thank you. (BREATHES HEAVILY) (WIND WHOOSHES) (SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES) (DOOR CLICKS) - I don't care if it's every fucking young girl in this fucking town. In the next few weeks. Look, I'll make it simple. (BELT BUCKLE RATTLES) We need her young. We need her hot. We need her now. (PANTS UNZIP) How the old bitch has been able to stick around for this long, that's` that's the fucking mystery to me. (URINE TRICKLES) Oh, Oscar winner my ass. When was that? Back in the '30s? What, for 'King Kong?' (LAUGHS) (SIGHS) No, I don't give a fuck what we promised her. Mm-mm. This is network TV, not a fucking charity. (URINE TRICKLES) Find me somebody new... (PANTS ZIP) ...now! (URINAL FLUSHES) Hey, did you know that a woman's fertility starts to decrease about the age of 25? How old is Jennifer? Ha ha! You better get busy. (LAUGHS) (TOILET FLUSHES) (TENSE MUSIC) (WATER RUNS) (LOW THUDDING) It's like when you see someone fart on screen... (SHRIMP SQUELCHES) ...people just love that. (LAUGHS) I mean, that's just the way it is. (CRUNCHING) You know what I mean. People are just people, and I have to give people what they want. That's what keeps the shareholders happy. And people always ask for something new. Renewal, it's inevitable. Now at 50, well... (SHRIMP SQUELCHES) ...it stops. - What stops? - What? - What stops? - Um... you know, the, um... the... the, um... (SHRIMP SQUELCHES) the... Oh, George! Oh, oh. I'm sorry. I gotta run. - Harvey. - HARVEY: Ah, George! Those ratings are insane. (LAUGHS) You're a genius. - Yeah. - HARVEY: Oh, what a minx. You're a genius. (LAUGHS) Let's buy you a drink, come on. (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS) (MUSIC WARPS, DARKENS) (TENSE MUSIC) (PAPER RIPS) (CRASH!) (TYRES SCREECH) (ALARM BLARES) - Well, it's your lucky day, Ms Sparkle cos we have X-rayed you from head to toe and you don't have so much as a cracked molar. So you are good to go. Uh, vaccination. OK. Not currently on any medication. By the way, I just wanna say my-my-my wife is a huge fan. Um, blood type. Oh, hey, it's your birthday. Happy b` (ELISABETH SOBS) (PAGER BUZZES) Uh, that's an emergency. I'm sorry. I-I have to... Have a good, um... Bye. (ELISABETH SOBS) (DOOR CLICKS) - One moment. There's just one last exam to perform. - I thought he said I was good to go. (HEARTBEAT THUMPS) (TENSE MUSIC) Is there a problem? - No, it's perfect. You're a good candidate. I mean, you're good to go. I wish you the best. (TENSE MUSIC) (TENSE MUSIC) - Lizzie? Lizzie Sparkle? Oh my God, I can't believe it. Fred. Fred from 10th grade homeroom. - Oh! Fred! Of course. - You haven't changed a bit. You're still the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. You know, I followed your career. What a success. I mean, wow. Wow, wow. - Wow. - Hey, why, why don't we go out maybe for a drink sometime now that we're, you know, reconnected. - Um` - Oh, of course. I'm stupid. You're` You're super busy. - You know what? Why, why don't you give me your card? I mean, you never know. - Um, here what do I... Oh, this will do. Oh. Don't look at my cholesterol levels. They're a disaster. Oh God. There. Now you've got it. (MOUTHS) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (FLASH DRIVE CLICKS) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS) - MAN: Have you ever dreamt of a better version of yourself? Younger, more beautiful, more perfect. One single injection unlocks your DNA, starting a new cellular division that will release another version of yourself. This is... The Substance. You are the matrix. Everything comes from you. And everything is you. This is simply a better version of yourself. You just have to share. One week for one and one week for the other. A perfect balance of seven days each. The one and only thing not to forget, you are one. You can't escape from yourself. (STATIC HISSES) (TV CLICKS) (FLASH DRIVE THUDS) - # You slip through my fingers # and you drop... (GLASS THUDS) # Fade away. # Fade away. # Fade. # (ELISABETH RETCHES) (ELISABETH COUGHS) (TOILET FLUSHES) (EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC) - (SIGHS) (WATER SLOSHES) (SOFT CHIMING MUSIC) (PEOPLE CHEER, CHATTER INDISTINCTLY) (GLASS SHATTERS) (TRASH CAN THUDS) (METAL CLANKS, LINE RINGS) - MAN: Yes? - Hello. (MAN BREATHES HEAVILY) I'd like... to order. - MAN: Address? - ELISABETH: 1057 Beverly Canyon. - MAN: Write this down ` 35 North Byron Alley. - ELISABETH: 35 North` (LINE CLICKS, BEEPS) (RECEIVER CLICKS) (GROANS) (WATER SPLASHES) (TENSE MUSIC) (WATER FIZZES) (VACUUM WHIRRS) (TENSE MUSIC) (PAPER CRUMPLES) (VACUUM WHIRRS) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (DOGS BARK) (SIREN WAILS) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (KEYPAD BEEPS, METAL CREAKS) (KEYPAD BEEPS) (EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (DOOR CLICKS) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (TAPE RIPS) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) - MAN: You are the matrix. Everything comes from you, and everything is you. This is simply a better version of yourself. (PLASTIC THUDS) (TENSE MUSIC) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - (WINCES) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (NEEDLE THUDS) (CHUCKLES) (SIGHS) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (GROANS) (HEAD THUDS) (GROANS) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (GROANS) (OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (FLESH RIPS) (INTENSE MUSIC) (SQUELCHING) (WIND WHOOSHES) (STRANGLED GASPING) (HEARTBEAT THUDS) (BODY THUDS) (HEAVY BREATHING) (HEAVY BREATHING CONTINUES) (MIRROR SQUEAKS) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (HEAVY BREATHING CONTINUES) (WIND WHOOSHES) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (RETCHES) (TENSE MUSIC) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (SCISSORS SNIP) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (SCISSORS SNIP) (TENSE MUSIC) (SNIP!) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (SCISSORS SNIP, CLATTER) (LIQUID TRICKLES) (ELISABETH WHIMPERS) (ELISABETH GASPS) (SIGHS) (TENSE MUSIC) (SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE) Where to from here, New Zealand? To amazing places, places of opportunity, technology, possibility, sustainability, every ability, places that are for all to enjoy ` yeah, everyone. Let's enjoy the path forged by those that came before us but also find new ones, maybe better ones. Life is our journey. Aotearoa ` our magnificent waka. VOICEOVER: What a time to be into all things entertainment. (EXPLODES) (PLAYFUL MUSIC) (UPBEAT MUSIC) (WATER SPLASHES) Hello. (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) (EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC) (GASPS) (HEARTBEAT THUDS) (TENSE MUSIC) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) (YELLS) (EXHALES) (PLASTIC THUDS) (EERIE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (WIND WHOOSHES) (SIGHS) (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) (EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC) - # Man, I give them fire. # Can I rock? Then I can retire. # Yes, we already gone wire. # Sa! # (WOMAN BREATHES HEAVILY) - Thanks. We'll let you know by next week. - WOMAN: Thank you so much. I'm just dying to get the part. (DOOR SLIDES) - Great dancer. - Hmm. Two bad her boobs aren't in the middle of her face instead of that nose. - Hmm. Next! (DOOR SLIDES) (TENSE MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) - Looks like everything sure is in the right place this time. - Please say your name, age, measurements. (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC) - I'm Sue. (TAPE REWINDS) I'm Sue. (TAPE REWINDS) Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue, Sue. - Where is she? Where is she? (SOFT MUSIC) (WIND WHOOSHES) What a gorgeous little angel. (LIGHTER CLICKS) (FIRE CRACKLES) (EXHALES) (LIGHTER CLICKS) You're hired. - (LAUGHS) - We want a show that's just like you ` Beautiful and happy. People want to be happy. (HANDS THUD) (EXHALES) We air in two weeks, so let's get to work. I'm gonna let you organise the rest with my assistant, uh... (FINGERS SNAP) ...uh, uh... - WOMAN: Isabella. - Is, Is, Is... Who has time to say that? (CIGARETTE CRACKLES) We're gonna make you Cindy. It's shorter. It's better. So I'm gonna let you organise everything else with Cindy. - Oh, before you go, I just have to mention a small scheduling issue. I have to be out of town every other week... (TENSE MUSIC) ...to take care of my mother, who's very sick. (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - I want you for this show, and we will work around any mother, brother, fucking sick puppy you need to take care of. Hmm? - Hmm. - Hmm. - (LAUGHS) Gorgeous, with a pure heart. People are going to love that. (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (NEEDLE THUDS) (PLASTIC THUDS) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) - PHOTOGRAPHER: Perfect. (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) - (CHUCKLES) (ELECTRONIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES) - So you jump out, touch your elbows. Head down, contract. (PLASTIC THUDS) ...and five, six, seven, eight. Elbows. (ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) (NEEDLE THUDS) (SUE CHEERS) (FIRE CRACKLES) (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (TENSE MUSIC) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (HANDS SLAP) (HEAD THUDS) (EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC) (HEAVY BREATHING) - (SCREAMS) (GASPS, COUGHS) (COUGHS) (GROANS) (COUGHS, GROANS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (TENSE MUSIC) (EGGS SIZZLE) (DISHES CLATTER) (WATER SPLASHES) (TENSE MUSIC) (ENGINE REVS) (TENSE MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) - Oh. There she is. Oh. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Where have you been? We've all been wanting to have a drink with you for your departure. Anyway, we, uh... all chipped in and we got you just a little something to keep you busy. It's French. My wife ` she swears by it. Oh, I love my wife. Oops, I gotta run. But it always great to see you. (LAUGHS) Oooh. (SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC) - (SIGHS) (CROWD CHEERS) (UPBEAT MUSIC ON TV) - TV: And we're back! - ANNOUNCER: Which is the most valuable seafood` - MAN: To start expensing stock options most of the nations` - Oh. Bob and Judy, are you ready? - 40. - Know what you'll be toting around for the rest of your days? Regret. - That's to feed 'em. Kids on the phone. (WATER SPLASHES) - WOMAN: Now, there were issues where... (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC) (ENVELOPE RIPS) (SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC CONTINUES) (DOOR CLICKS) - NARRATOR: The antelope and the deer moving about. By hunt, through the Texas` (DOOR CREAKS) (LIGHT CLICKS, HUMS) - MAN: We have a beautiful, beautiful, woman's ring, straight out of Africa. (ELISABETH SIGHS) (LIGHT CLICKS, DOOR CREAKS) (DOOR CLICKS) MAN: I can't believe this price. (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC) (SODA GURGLING) - (GULPS) (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES) - 98 with remote. I cannot believe the incredible price for $49.98, shoppers. Look at the quality of this thing. This thing is sturdy. It's beautiful. Listen to your music at home, shoppers. $49.98. I'll take one myself. Put it right there. Hold that one for me. That one's mine. How can you ever` (REMOTE CLICKS) (TENSE MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (SUE SIGHS) (HAND KNOCKS ON HOLLOW WALL) (TENSE MUSIC) (HAND KNOCKS ON HOLLOW WALL) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (WALL THUDS) (TILE THUDS) (TENSE MUSIC) (TILES SMASH) (DRILL WHIRRS) (HAMMER THUDS) (TOOLS BANG, WHIRR) (BANGING ON DOOR) - Goddammit, lady, come on! I haven't slept in three nights. Open up! (BANGING ON DOOR) Goddammit. Are you gonna open... Uh, sorry. (CHUCKLES) I thought that Ms Sparkle` - She moved out. I'm the new tenant. Sue. - (CLEARS THROAT) Oli.. Oliver. (CHUCKLES) Oliver. - You wanted to complain about something, Oliver? - What? No. (LAUGHS) No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think it's, like, awesome when there's stuff going on in the building, you know what I mean? (LAUGHS) Um, I'm actually quite handy, if you ever need... need me to be of aid in` in any way, um... like, I got a sack of tools and got a big hammer. You know what I mean? (LAUGHS) Anyways, uh... (EXHALES) I live right here, so you know where to find me, any time, day or night. Later. (DOOR SLAMS) (SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (WALL THUDS) (PICTURE THUDS) (TENSE MUSIC) (WALL THUDS) (WALL THUDS) (LIGHTS THUDS) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) - Hi, everybody. I'm Sue, and it's time to pump it up. Are you ready? Let's go. (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES) - # Can fly all alone. # Life's a show for the nation. # And it's Saturday night. # On your feet... # Can you feel it? # Don't you know? # Don't you know # you got to pump it up. # Don't you know? # Don't you know # you got to pump it up. # Pump it up. Pump it up. # Pump it up. Pump it up. # Pump it up. Pump it up. # Pump it up. # Pump it up. # Pump it up. # Pump it up. # Pump it up. # (FOOTSTEPS THUD, SUE BREATHES HEAVILY) - Thank you so much, everybody. I'll see you next week. (LAUGHS) And in the meantime, take care of yourself. (BLOWS) (SOFT CHIMING MUSIC) (LIGHTS CLICK, BUZZER BLARES) - Where is she? Oh! There she is. Ha ha. Wonderful, wonderful. That's what I'm talking about. (ALL CLAP) Yes. (DOOR CLICKS) (SOFT AMBIENT MUSIC) (WIND WHOOSHES) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (SUE BREATHES HEAVILY) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) - I won't be out late, so just wait for me. Don't eat too fast. (WALL THUDS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (ALL CHATTER, CHEER) (ENGINE REVS) (ALL CHEER) (TENSE MUSIC) (SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE) (TENSE MUSIC) (LIQUID GURGLES) (DOOR CLICKS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (MAN LAUGHS, OBJECTS CLATTER) (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) - # Shed tears, tears for blood. # I know your... # (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) (ZIPPER WHIRRS) (ELISABETH WHIMPERS) (PLASTIC RUSTLES) (SUE MOANS) (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) (TENSE MUSIC) (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) - (GROANS) (TENSE MUSIC) (SUE BREATHES HEAVILY) - Are you all right? (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) - Yes, I'll be right back. (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GROANS) (DOOR SLAMS) (TENSE MUSIC) (ELISABETH GASPS) (PLASTIC RUSTLES, SUE GROANS) (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) (GROANS) (BLOOD TRICKLES) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - Are you all right? (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) (TENSE MUSIC) - (GASPS) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) (GROANS) (GASPS) (HEARTBEAT THUDS) - What did you do? You seem even more beautiful than before. (LEATHER RUSTLES) (ZIPPER WHIRRS) - (GASPS) (TENSE MUSIC) (ORGANS THUD) - (GASPS) (COUGHS) (GROANS) (GROANS) (SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GASPS) (GASPS) (TENSE MUSIC) (WATER RUNS) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GROANS) (PHONE LINE RINGS) - MAN: Yes. - Yes, hi, this is Elisabeth Sparkle. (STATIC HISSES) I'm 503. - MAN: Yes. - Yes, hi. There's been a slight misuse of The Substance. A few extra hours were accidentally used causing, um... an alteration. So I'm just looking for the procedure to reverse it. - MAN: What has been used on one side is lost on the other side. There is no going back. (TENSE MUSIC) - Oh... no, I don't know what she was thinking. And obviously she was drunk. - MAN: Remember, there is no she and you. You are one. Respect the balance and you won't have any more inconveniences. (LINE CLICKS, BEEPS) (PAPER CRINKLES) (DOOR CLICKS) (HELMET THUDS) (DOOR SLAMS) (VACUUM WHIRRS) (TENSE MUSIC) (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC ON TV) - # Don't you know? # Don't you know # you got to pump it up. # Don't you know? # Don't you know # you got to pump it up. # You got to pump it up. (TENSE MUSIC) # You got to pump it up. # (DOORBELL CHIMES) - (GASPS) (DOORBELL RINGS) - Sue! Sue? Ooh, I just saw you on TV. Holy moly. (LAUGHS) Makes me want to join your class. Hey, you don't give private lessons, do you? (CHUCKLES) Hey, um... what about a drink at my place tonight? Come on, don't be shy. I see you standing behind the door there, gorgeous. (METAL SQUEAKING) All right, take your time. But it's a date. # You know pump it up. # You got to pump it up. # You know, pump it up. # You got to pump it up, ah. # (DOOR SLAMS) (WATER SPLASHES) (TRAFFIC WHOOSHES) (DOGS BARK) (DOOR CLICKS) (PERSON SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (DOOR SHUTS) (SOFT MUSIC PLAYS) - # If I were a mighty wind, # I'd throw it all away tomorrow. (GLASSES THUD) - WAITRESS: What can I get you? - Uh, mocha latte. - # If I were a mighty river # I'd wash it all away tomorrow. # - It's long, isn't it? - Excuse me. - Seven days. (TENSE MUSIC) (OBJECTS CLATTER) (MAN GRUNTS) - Did you follow me here? - I was just curious to find out how things were going for you. Each time you feel a little more... lonely, don't you think? - I don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine. Everything's fine. - It gets harder each time to remember that you still deserve to exist. (SPOON CLATTERS) That this part of yourself is still worth something. That you... still matter. Has she started yet? Eating away at you? (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) - Fuck! Watch out! (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) What?! (ENGINE REVS) (ENGINE REVS) Hey, move! (ENGINE REVS) (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) - (GRUNTS) (OBJECTS CLATTER) (GRUNTS) (SOFT MUSIC) - You are still the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. (SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES) (SIGHS) (SIGHS) (PHONE LINE RINGS) - Hello? - Hi, Fred. It's Lizzie. Hello? - FRED: Sorry. I'm` I'm in shock. - Oh. (LAUGHS) - Wow. Wow. Wow. I` I thought I'd never hear from you again after` - Oh, gosh. No, no, not at all. I've just` I've just... I've just been really busy lately. So listen, I was thinking that... maybe we could get together and grab a drink. Are you still there? - Sorry. (STAMMERS) I'm in shock again. - Oh. (BOTH LAUGH) - I could book Luigi's at 8? - 8 at Luigi's, it is. I` I will see you tonight. - (LAUGHS) Bye. - OK, bye. (SIGHS) (TENSE MUSIC) (ZIPPER WHIRRS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (WALL THUDS) (TENSE MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (KEYS JINGLE) (TENSE MUSIC) (LIGHT CLICKS, HUMS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (TENSE MUSIC) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (SIGHS) (SWITCH CLICKS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (TENSE MUSIC) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (LIGHT CLICKS) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) (CELL PHONE BUZZES) - HOST: And we're back. Welcome back to 'Who Knows?' Bob and Judy, are you ready? (PLATES CLATTER) (DOOR SLAMS) - Hi, everybody. - Hi. - OK, here we go. Everyone, clear the set please. First positions. Thank you. Roll cameras. (CAMERAS BEEP) And in three, two, one. (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) - And squat, squat, squat. Circle those hips. Circle those hips. Contract, contract, contract, contract, contract, contract. Head between your legs. (FLESH SQUELCHES) (GASPS) - DIRECTOR: Cut. (BUZZER SOUNDS) - Um, I'm sorry. I thought, I, uh... I thought I... I just got distracted. (CHUCKLES) - Not a problem. Let's get right back to it. Back to one, please. Sorry. It's the control room now. The director said he saw something bizarre on the monitor. Bring up the replay on camera two. - MAN: Camera two. (WIND WHOOSHES) (TENSE MUSIC) - Forward. (TAPE FAST FORWARDS) - Can I have my dressing gown? - Sorry, it's in your dressing room. - Well, then go and get it. - Let's just take this frame by frame. (TENSE MUSIC) - I need five minutes. (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (DOOR SLAMS) (GASPS) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (GASPS) (GROANS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (GROANS) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (SCREAMS, GASPS) (TENSE MUSIC) - Yes? - This balance is not working. I barely have any time to enjoy myself while she wastes seven days stuffing her face in front of the TV. - MAN: Remember, there is no she and you. You are` (PHONE BEEPS) - (GROWLS) - Hello... everybody. What's happening? Where is everybody? - The taping's been cancelled. - What? Why? - Sue. Harvey wants to see you in his office immediately. - OK, I'll go change` - No, he said now. (TENSE MUSIC) - I'll get right to the point. We can't keep you on the morning show. - But why? I just started. - Ratings are through the roof. (LAUGHS) We started at 42. Now we're up to like` - 216. - It's phenomenal. - (LAUGHS) People love you. They adore you. They want more and more and more of you. That is why we have decided that we want you to host the New Year's Eve show. - You mean the` - The network's biggest show ` 50 million viewers, live. You can't go higher than that. - (LAUGHS) It's gonna be intense. We only have a few months to pull it off. So are you in? - You don't open the door when opportunity knocks, you won't get another chance. You, of all people, know this. (TENSE MUSIC) (WALL THUDS) Just one more day and then I have a whole week off and we can switch. (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (WALL THUDS) We're doing the cover of Vogue. Just one more day, OK? (GASPS) (TENSE MUSIC) (GAGS) (WALL THUDS) (SIGHS) (TENSE MUSIC) (ELISABETH GASPS) - No! (TENSE MUSIC) (WATER SPLASHES) - MAN: Yes? - She didn't respect the balance. She's stealing more and more time from me completely without consideration to the consequences. She's a selfish bitch. - MAN: Would you like to stop? - Stop? - MAN: You are the matrix. If you are not satisfied, you can put an end to the experience and go back to being just you, on your own. Would you like to stop? (TENSE MUSIC) - Will it go back to the way it was before? - MAN: What has been transferred won't come back, but you can stop the experience as of now. Would you like to stop, to go back to being just you, on your own? - No. No, no. I can't stop. She just` I... (HAND SMACKS) The balance just needs to be respected. - MAN: So respect it. (LINE CLICKS, BEEPS) (HAND SMACKS) - You have to stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. (SOBS) (TENSE MUSIC) - HOST: Congratulations, Bob, you are the winner. (AUDIENCE APPLAUD) Bob, congratulations. You have won $25,000. Now you'll have final chance to answer a simple question in our Big Question Round and play for $250,000. (CROWD CHEERS) Now you'll have just 45 seconds` (BONES CRACK) - (GROANS) - ...correct answers as you can. (BONES CRACK) - (GRUNTS) - Time begins now. - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GROANS) (BONES CRACK) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GROANS) (BONES CRACK) (GROANS) (SCREAMS) (KNEE CRACKS) (GASPS) (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS) (EXHALES) (GROANS) (TENSE MUSIC) - Just a little something to keep you busy. (LAUGHS) - (GROWLS) Hmm. (TENSE MUSIC) Fuck. (GAGS) - Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she is here, the superstar of the moment. Sue, are you ready? Let's welcome her. Sue! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) You popped up out of nowhere on our screens like a tornado. I don't think anybody was really prepared for this whirlwind. (UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) (TENSE MUSIC) It all started with the morning show, and rumour has it that you are up for Tom Grant's next movie. Wait, just a moment. I'm` I'm being told that you are going to host the New Year's Eve show. Can you confirm this? - (LAUGHS) Yes, that's right. - MOCKINGLY: 'Yes, that's right.' - Oh my gosh, that is huge news. (TENSE MUSIC) Tell us a little bit about yourself. Where are you from? How did you get discovered? I want ` we want ` to know everything. (MEAT SIZZLES) - Well, I mean, there's, there's really not very much to tell. I'm just a girl from a very small town in Indiana. I'm sure that you've never heard of it. (MEAT SIZZLES) In fact, it's not even a town. I'm` I'm not sure you could really even call it a village. It's a farm perhaps. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) (MEAT SIZZLES) (FLAMES WHOOSH) Oooh! - But ever since I can remember, it has always been my dream to be on screen. - This is my dream. - As a child I used to put on shows for my family. - Ooh, your family. - How sweet. (BOOK THUDS) So everyone is aware that you replaced Elisabeth Sparkle. And no doubt about it, you stepped in, you turned up the volume, and you rocked their world. Were you a fan of her show? (TURKEY THUDS) (HAND THUDS) - Um... well, well, I can't... I can't really say that I actually watched her show. You do know that we're not exactly from the same generation. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) And you have to admit, it was a bit old fashioned. Jurassic fitness, really. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - Jurassic fitness. - It needed to change. - I'll fucking show you. You wanna see some Jurassic fitness? (TURKEY SQUELCHES) You want it? Come on, come get your fucking Jurassic fitness! (TENSE MUSIC) (GRUNTS) - But my mother was a huge fan of hers. (GLASS SHATTERS) So every morning, rain or shine... (EGG CRACKS) ...'Sparkle Your Life' was on TV. So in a way, I grew up with her, whether I liked it or not. (LAUGHS) (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) I guess that's why you can say we have some sort of connection. - Some sort of connection. You wouldn't exist without me. (MIXER WHIRRS) (TENSE MUSIC) - Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. It is time, ladies and gentlemen, for our final question. The question that we ask each and every one of our guests. - OK. (LAUGHS) - Would you share one of your little beauty secrets with us? (EGGS SPUTTER) Just one little trick of yours that helps you look so incredibly stunning. I mean, look at you. - I don't know. - Say it! Say it. - Let me think. - Say it. Tell them who your little beauty secret is. - I guess` - Why don't we just show them right here. Here's your little beauty secret. - I guess I just try to be myself, to be sincere and grateful for all that I have and to always remember to lead with my heart. - Oh, America's sweetheart. (ELISABETH GRUNTS, EGGS SPLAT) (TENSE MUSIC) - MOCKINGLY: 'I just, oh... 'I try to be myself.' (LAUGHS) Stop it. You are taking it from me. That's your little secret. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it, stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. (TENSE MUSIC) You have to` - Control yourself! (TENSE MUSIC) I can't go back inside her. (JARS THUD) Ugh. Gross, old, fat, disgusting. (LIQUID SPLASHES) (LIQUID SPLASHES) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (LIQUID SPLASHES) (GASPS) (OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES) (LIQUID DRIPS) (BIG BAND MUSIC) (SOFT CHIMING MUSIC) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) - Coming to bed? - Yes. I'll be right there. (SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC) (SIGHS) (WALL THUDS) (GASPS) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (HEARTBEAT THUMPS, SUE PANTS) (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) (GROANS) Fuck. (GROANS) - MAN: Yes? - Hi, hi. This is an emergency. There's` There's no more stabiliser fluid. Hello? It's fucking 503. - MAN: Yes. (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) - I'm telling you, this is urgent. There's no more stabiliser fluid. - It means you've reached the end. - What do you mean the end? - You've drained it all out. If you want more, you must let the fluid regenerate. - (GROANS) Tell me how to do it. I need to stabilise myself right now. - You simply have to switch. - Excuse me? - The switch reboots the fluid secretion process so you can continue to enjoy the experience. - No, no, no, no, no. I can't switch. I can't. Especially not now. - There is no other option. (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) (BODY THUDS) - (GROANS, WHIMPERS) (TENSE MUSIC) (GROANS) (OBJECTS CLATTER) - Sue? - (GROANS) (ELISABETH GASPS, COUGHS) - Babe? Sue? You all right? (THUD! ELISABETH GROANS) - Stressed out about tomorrow? (HEAVY BREATHING) (OMINOUS MUSIC) Babe? (OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES) Babe? (DOOR THUDS, LOCK CLICKS) (GROANING) Sue, something wrong? (GROANING) Get a little cranky because of your lady business? Sue, open the door. (DOOR HANDLE JIGGLES) Come on, Sue. (POUNDING ON DOOR) It's not funny. I need to take a piss. Sue, open the door. (BANGING ON DOOR) Open the door, Sue, come on. (BANGING ON DOOR) Open the door. (BANGING ON DOOR) (GASPS, WHIMPERS) (BANGING ON DOOR) Sue? Come on, open the door, come on! Sue, open the door, Sue. - (GROWLS) - Sue, open the door! - Get out! - What the fuck? (DOOR THUDS) - Get the fuck out! - Who's this? Who the fuck is this? - Leave me alone! (COUGHS, HACKS) (SPITS) - What the fuck? (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (DOOR CLICKS) (DOOR SLAMS) (DOOR CREAKS) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (BONE CRACKS) (GRUNTS) (GROANS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (PHONE LINE RINGS) - MAN: Yes? - (GROANS) It's 503. I wanna stop. - Are you sure? Once you stop, you can't go back. - I wanna stop. I wanna fucking stop. I wanna stop. - We'll deliver. (LINE CLICKS, BEEPS) (PHONE THUDS) (GRUNTING) (PICTURE SLIDES) (GROANING) (BREATHES RASPINGLY) (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC) - Sue, I` - Fuck off! (SHOES SQUEAK) (GROWLS) (DOOR SLAMS) (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) (CAR HORNS HONK) (DOGS BARK) (CAR ALARM BLARES) (DOOR CLICKS) (BODY SLIDES) (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) (HEAD THUDS) (GRUNTS) (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) - MAN: Are you sure? Once you stop, you can't go back. You will simply remain on your own. Just on your own. Just on your own, on your own, on your own. - Shut the fuck up! - MAN: On your own. (HEARTBEAT SLOWS) (TENSE MUSIC) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (PEOPLE CHEER, CHATTER INDISTINCTLY) - MAN: We love you! (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) I can't. I can't. I can't do this. I need you because I hate myself. STAMMERS: You gotta... You gotta get ready. It's our big` It's our big night. Come on. They're gonna love you so much. Come on. You're the only lovable part of me. You have to come back. You have to come back, come back. (OMINOUS MUSIC) (GASPS) PANTS: OK, OK. (GRUNTS) Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on! (GASPS) (GASPS) (INTENSE MUSIC) (BOTH GASP) (SUE WHIMPERS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) - (SCREAMS) (INTENSE MUSIC) (SCREAMS) (SMASH!) (BOTH GRUNT) (SMASH! BOTH GRUNT) - (GURGLES) - (SCREAMS) (SUE SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) - (SCREAMS) (DOOR SLAMS) (LOCK CLICKS) - (GRUNTS) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (DOOR THUDS) - (GRUNTS) (DOOR THUDS) (OBJECTS CLATTER) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (ELISABETH GROANS) (SUE SCREAMS) (HEAD THUDS) (ELISABETH BREATHES HEAVILY) (SUE SCREAMS, GLASS SHATTERS) (SMASH!) (SMASH!) (SMASH! ELISABETH GRUNTS) (SMASH! SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!) (ELISABETH GROANS) (SQUEAKING) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (ELISABETH GROANS) (SUE GRUNTS) (GLASS SHATTERS) (TENSE MUSIC) (FOOT THUDS) - (GROANS) (SUE GRUNTS) (THUD!) (THUD!) (THUD! THUD! THUD!) (SUE GRUNTS, SCREAMS) (INTENSE MUSIC) - (YELLS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (WHIMPERS) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (UPBEAT MUSIC) - Got an hour and a half for makeup and hair. And we gotta get you into the fitting room, get you dressed. After that, we have one final test on stage for lighting and sound. You have to be fitted on time before the show starts. You got it? You good? OK, let's go. Come on. (BIG BAND MUSIC) - MAN: OK, go. - The dress is wonderful! It's perfect. (BIG BAND MUSIC CONTINUES) - VOICE WARPS: There you go. (HIGH PITCH FREQUENCY RESONATES) - (COUGHS) - It's good. You get the dance lights? - (COUGHS) I'm gonna be right back. Sorry. (COUGHS) (COUGHS) (HACKING COUGHS) (TOOTH CLATTERS) (EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC) (BREATHES SHAKILY) (EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES) (HEARTBEAT THUMPS) (GASPS) (TOOTH CLATTERS) (GUMS SQUELCH) (GASPS) (GUMS SQUELCH) (BANGING ON DOOR) - MAN: They need to see you on stage to set the lights. - Huh? (BANGING ON DOOR) (LAUGHS) (SCREECHES) (BLOOD SPATTERS) (TENSE MUSIC) - MAN: Have you ever dreamt of a better version of yourself? More beautiful. More perfect. - Sue? (BANGING ON DOOR) (WATER RUNS) - Yes. Let meet you there. - OK, so I'll wait for you on stage. (SPITS) (BIG BAND MUSIC) (TENSE MUSIC) - Oh, Sue. (FOOTSTEPS THUD) Sue. Let me introduce you to the shareholders. They have been dying to meet you. (ALL CHUCKLE) Is everything... OK? - Mm-hm. - So smile. (TENSE MUSIC) - (CHUCKLES) - (LAUGHS) That's what we want tonight. Pretty girls should always smile. - (CHUCKLES) - MAN: Come on, come on, girls, come on. - Whoa. - Come on. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Come on, we gotta go. Tiffany, Cindy, Ashley. Go, go, go, go, go. - (LAUGHS) Feathers, feathers, feathers. (ALL LAUGH) (TENSE MUSIC) (SUE BREATHES HEAVILY) (NAIL CRACKS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (DOORS THUD) (TENSE MUSIC) (NAIL CRACKS, SUE WHIMPERS) (WAILS) (SCREAMS) (DISTORTED SCREAMING) - Ready for tonight? (MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (STATIC HISSES) (SUE WHIMPERS) (TENSE MUSIC) (SOBS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (OBJECTS CLATTER) I just need a better version of myself. Please give me a better version of myself, please. (SUE BREATHES HEAVILY) Please! Come on! (INTENSE MUSIC) (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) (INTENSE MUSIC) (EERIE AMBIENT MUSIC) (HEAVY BREATHING) (GRUNTING) (INTENSE MUSIC) (HEAVY BREATHING) (INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (HEAVY BREATHING) (STRANGLED GASPING) - Looks like everything sure is in the right place this time. Please say your name, age, measurements. (GRUNTING) (GRUNTING) (INTENSE MUSIC) (MONSTROELISASUE GROANS) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (DRESS WHOOSHES) (MONSTROELISASUE GRUNTS) (MONSTROELISASUE GASPS) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (EARRING CHIMES) - (CHUCKLES) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (EARRINGS CHIME) (CURLER SIZZLES) (GRUNTS) (GLASS SHATTERS) (SMASH!) - Pretty girls should always smile. (TENSE MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (DOOR BUZZES) - At last. We're starting to worry. Hurry up. You're up in five. (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) - There she is. So beautiful. - We love you. - This is where you belong, and you'll always belong here. - We can't do it without you. - We could never be without you. - You're irreplaceable. (VOICES SLOW) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (UPBEAT MUSIC) (SINGER VOCALISES) - # Ooh yeah. # Oooh yeah. # Oooh yeah. # - Girls, come on. Let's go. Let's go. What we waiting for? All right, come on everybody. Let's go, let's go, let's go. - You will not be disappointed. She's my most beautiful creation. I have shaped her for success. (ALL LAUGH) - Five, four, three, two, one. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) (LIGHTS THUD) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (MONSTROELISASUE BREATHES HEAVILY) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (MONSTROELISASUE BREATHES HEAVILY) (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (GRUNTING, HEAVY BREATHING) (FINGERS TAP) (FEEDBACK RINGS) - MONSTROELISASUE SLURS: I'm so happy to be with you tonight. I've missed you all so much. (TENSE MUSIC) (GRUNTS) (COUGHS) (ALL GASP) (GRUNTING) (ALL EXCLAIM) (SPITS) (TENSE MUSIC) - (SCREAMS) - A monster! - (SCREAMS) (ALL SCREAM) - Shoot the monster! - It's a freak! - No. - MAN: Shoot the monster! - Monster! (ALL SCREAM) - Freak! - Monster! - Shoot it! - Freak! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) - You freak! - ROARS: Monster! - Freak! - Monster! - Monster! - (SOBS) It's me! It's me! (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (SOBS) (MAN SCREAMS) (BLOOD SPLATTERS) (TENSE MUSIC) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (OMINOUS MUSIC) (GROANING) (SCREAMING) (BLOOD SPLASHES) - (SCREAMS) (INTENSE MUSIC) (MONSTROELISASUE SCREAMS) (ALL SCREAM) (INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - CASTING DIRECTOR: Too bad her boobs aren't in the middle of her face instead of that nose. - ASSISTANT: Hmm. Next! (BLOOD SPLASHES) (INTENSE MUSIC) - HARVEY: Pretty girls should always smile. (INTENSE MUSIC) - At 50, it stops. (MONSTROELISASUE SCREAMS) (INTENSE MUSIC) (BLOOD DRIPS) (ENGINE REVS) (MONSTROELISASUE BREATHES HEAVILY) (FOOTSTEPS THUD) (FLESH SQUELCHES) (BODY EXPLODES) (MONSTROELISASUE GROANS) - (GROANS) (GROANS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GROANS) (SQUEAKING) (GROANS) (GROANING CONTINUES) (CRICKETS CHIRP) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - So beautiful. - We love you. (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) - You're irreplaceable. (APPLAUSE) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (CRICKETS CHIRP) (BIRDS TWEET) (STREET CLEANER WHIRRS) (SIREN WAILS) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) (UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (TENSE MUSIC) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (EERIE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) (EERIE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.