- Imagine dedicating your life to serving others, whether that be through teaching, nursing, policing, or defending your country. Now imagine being told that your service is valued, but who you are, that's not. In this episode, we uncover the stories of those who have faced some of the harshest discrimination simply because of their gender identity or sexuality, despite an unwavering commitment to our communities. - ARCHIVE: The defence counsel warns every service man and woman, that homosexual acts won't be tolerated. - They're in the Army, the Navy and the Air Force, but if they come out, they're chucked out. - They get a pretty fair trial. - And it's frustrating when you're good at your job, but because of your sexuality, some people don't want you working for them. - There's no way we can accept the armed services have a right to determine a person's sexual behaviour. - We were being conditioned that the highest achievement that anybody could make was to die in a foreign war. - The police and armed forces have always had gays in their ranks; some politicians want those numbers kept down. - We must not allow a situation where homosexuals could misuse their positions to promote their own cause. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2025 (SUBDUED HARP MUSIC) - In the early 1900s, New Zealand was rocked by a scandal, when a mayor shot a returned soldier. The scandal became even more sensational when the mayor revealed himself to be a homosexual. - Charles Mackay was the Mayor of Whanganui during the 1910s, and he got into terrible trouble in 1920. He got involved with D'Arcy Cresswell, a returned soldier. Cresswell blackmailed Mackay. Mackay shot Creswell, didn't kill him, ended up in prison and eventually left New Zealand and went to London. That story has been really significant, I think, in people's imagining of Gay history in New Zealand, because, in the 1920s, it was one of the very few stories that was told. - ALL: # For God, for king and for country, aue! # Ake, ake, kia kaha e! # - An often overlooked period of our history is the contribution Queer people made to the war effort during World War II. They played a vital role leaving a lasting impact, and they did it all with style. - # Aue! # Ake ake, kia kaha e! # - They were quite a lot of Queer men keen to go overseas to war to start a new, kind of, life away from New Zealand. Some of them served in the concert parties ` particularly in the female impersonator roles ` and New Zealand had numerous of these men who were really, really good. New Zealand's Kiwi Concert Party was very well-regarded. They were about maintaining men's morale, and maintaining morale, of course, was incredibly important in wartime. - ARCHIVE: Freyberg took over a huge building in the centre of Cairo ` which was previously the Fascist Club ` and renamed it the New Zealand Forces Club. It was a good thing in as much as we could go there, let our hair down, get stewed, not be scared of being picked up by the English redcaps. - There were some incredibly long-running friendships and connections and support networks that kept on rolling all the way through World War II, after World War II, through the 1970s and gay liberation, and then through the period of homosexual law reform, tying together wartime gay culture and post-law-reform gay culture. - We're proud of you! (CROWD CHEERS, WHISTLES) - While some soldiers maintained connections after the war, most Queer soldiers returned home and were expected to just slot back into society. In the decades following, the New Zealand Defence Force implemented some of the most anti-LGBTQIA+ policies in the country. In 1978, Michelle Lewin joined the Air Force and saw this for herself. - I heard the banter around about the... the prejudice against, especially, gay males. You know, could never come out as a gay male, um... or even as a lesbian in the armed forces, because that was considered a psychiatric disorder. So if a gay male, especially, was found out, basically, you` you would be out of the armed forces really quick. - Here we go. Right, left. Right, left. Right, left. - ARCHIVE: Early morning manoeuvres. Because those in the armed forces live, work and play in close quarters, some behaviour is incompatible with disciplined military life. Offences against discipline often lead to discharge from the services. Here in New Zealand, one of those offences is homosexual behaviour. - So what I was looking for when I decided to join the Air Force was perhaps this was a way to find whether I was a man inside, uh... which didn't work out particularly well, because it just reinforced that I wasn't. (HAUNTING, POIGNANT MUSIC) - ARCHIVE: As a flight sergeant, Merv Hall was discharged from the Air Force after 18 years of service and 3500 hours of flying time. In 1968, he wrote a love letter to a junior officer; the officer complained. - I was told I would have to face court martial or, uh... leave the, uh` leave the service. I decided to leave the service of my own free will. - People will be charged under the disciplinary provisions of the relevant service, and receive a proper trial and be convicted. It seems to me that is the best thing to do. - How did you react at the time? - At the time? Oh, I had a... the usual, sort of, uh, breakdown, but... - What do you mean? - Oh, just a... (INHALES DEEPLY) nervous breakdown. I just went to pieces, and, you know, I withdrew from society. You know, I withdrew from the whole... thing. (PULSATING MUSIC) - From the time of my recruit course, living in a barracks of guys, I was very self-conscious of my... of my body. But at the same time, I was learning skills that would be essential to me later on. They push you past where you're comfortable, and later in life, that gave me coping skills. I had that mental self-discipline to cope with how people reacted. - 85% of people think that homosexual people should be allowed to serve in the armed services. The public image of the Army at present is that it's a bigoted outfit. - I left because there was no pathway... to come out to anybody, because there was no pathways for making a transition within the armed forces. - Despite progress after the 1986 Homosexual Law Reform, the New Zealand Defence Force continued to exclude LGBTQIA+ personnel. That changed with the 1993 Human Rights Act, which outlawed discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Today, the Defence Force is working to be more inclusive, welcoming people like Mark, a trans man from Holland who joined in 2014. - When I actually started my transition, I thought that it was just going to be the end of that opportunity or the option to serve, so going to the New Zealand Defence Force and saying, like, 'Hey, this is the situation, but I would really like to join', and then the fact that I went through that recruitment and they were super accepting of that. I was really appreciative for that. And I think that's also why you wanna` you make it work and succeed. And, you know, I wanted to serve my country ` my new country ` so, that for me, that was` this was really a big thing, but then you also realise that there will be... heaps of people that didn't have that opportunity, and that could have been because they were trans or because they were gay or... you know, so` which is actually sad, cos it takes away an opportunity for people to actually... live who they are, but also to give and serve in a way they would like to do. - Yeah, that... Is it bittersweet, knowing that it's happened after I left? Yeah, it is. (STAMMERS) I have dreams about what it would have been like... to have come out back then and being able to make that change. You know, would I have stayed in the Air Force? Probably ` if I could have made that change. (PIANO SCALE ASCENDS SOFTLY) (MELLOW, INQUISITIVE MUSIC) - Discrimination based on sexuality and gender identity wasn't limited to those serving in the Defence Force. Queer people in other areas of the public sector also faced similar challenges. In 1970, Joan Bellingham followed in her mother's and her sister's footsteps, and began her nursing training at Christchurch's Burwood Hospital. - Well, I've always been interested, right from a young child, in nursing. My sister was a nurse, my mother, and my grandmother. So I'd made that decision... pretty early on in my life. In those days, people either went nursing or worked in an office or teaching. I mean, they were the three main things for women. So I went to pursue my career in nursing. It was a three-year course I was doing, and we all lived in a hostel. There were lots of rules. It was like being in the army. You had to be in by 10 o'clock. I'd never hid my sexuality, so it must have just been word of mouth. I mean, I'd just been completely open about my sexuality. Once I was in there, I believe that if I'd have been open prior to getting into nursing, I wouldn't have been` got into nursing school. But I absolutely loved my job... until the day I was taken away from the hospital. I was a year and a half into it when I was taken out of it. I was driven by one of the senior staff at Burwood Hospital to Princess Margaret Hospital, which was a public hospital with a psychiatric ward. I never went back to my nursing. I never thought I was going to stay in overnight, and I had no clothes with me or anything, but... obviously they... were pleased to get rid of me, so... (SOFT, CONTEMPLATIVE PIANO MUSIC) I feel that treatment I got was definitely a form of conversion therapy. I kept getting questions bombarded with me about sex, and... 'How many girlfriends have you got? How many times a week did you have sex?' And... I felt` always felt very fearful of the psychiatrists there, because they tended to constantly ask questions about my sexuality. At first, they said my sexuality was probably due to my personality disorder. I was told that I was not a well person, and that I needed to have treatment, and... I was put on copious amounts of drugs, and then I was put on ECT, sometimes twice a day... for 12 years. - ECT, or electroconvulsive therapy, is a treatment used for severe mental health conditions. It involves passing a controlled electric pulse through the brain inducing a seizure, and ` spoiler ` it doesn't stop you being gay. - Uh, they gave you a muscle relaxant, which was like formaldehyde, and that just absolutely` my whole body would... ache, and I thought I was going to die every time. And then you'd... waken up from` you'd had all these seizures through the ECT ` with a searing headache, and quite often I'd be vomiting. It was just... (SIGHS) ghastly. I strongly believe that I contracted hepatitis C through the seeping wounds to my scalp. From the day I went off medication, I was back to being me, not somebody the hospital wanted me to be. It's been the absolute best thing for me. Through me speaking out, I know that it's helped a lot of other people who have heard my story and who can compare it with themselves or their children, and... to be given this opportunity to me is just... That's all I've really wanted, is to be able to` so people don't have to go through what I went through. - Like nurses, teachers also feared their sexuality could jeopardise their employment, especially at a time where no anti-discrimination laws were in place to protect them. - I guess for out-gay... men, particularly, there` there is always a fear in teaching that people will accuse you, unfairly, of being a paedophile. Two friends became lawyers because they didn't feel safe in classrooms. - During the Homosexual Law Reform Bill, the rector of Palmerston North Boys' High School was quite forthright in his opposition to the bill. So when I did my year of teacher training, I realised that I was being placed at Palmerston North Boys' High School, if the rector realises who I am, he may not want me to be a teacher-trainee at his school. - Unlike Joan, Vernon Tile managed to stay under the radar during his teacher training, allowing him to become a high-school maths teacher. - In terms of when I did become a teacher, I took the view that my personal life is my personal life. All the schools that I've taught at, the staff have known that I've been a gay man. Only one student has asked me about that in all of my 35 years of teaching. There is so much evidence out on the internet, that I'm readily identified as being a gay man, and having done these... actions and activities in the Queer community over decades, and that, yes, you still have a personal life ` but there was a tendency to separate your personal life from your working life. - You're getting a bit of stick at the moment about... not declaring publicly who you live with. - Right. Well, I don't` I don't think, Mark, it's anyone's business who I live with. My partner has his own life. 'I went from being a gay teacher to being the Minister of Education, which I became in 2007.' I believe my sexuality has played a very positive role in my life. It has shaped my personal philosophy and sharpened my sense of social justice. I could use that public platform to make a statement about being proud to be gay ` that being gay had made me a better person, not a worse one. It had given me an empathy for people who are different, and I wanted to show that` to gay and lesbian and trans kids that... this MP was... proud to be who I am. (STARTLES) Shhh. (SOFT GRUNT) You've had a big day, Dad. VOICEOVER: Imagine if instead of the kids wearing you out... (SNORING) ..you wore them out. Get AIA Vitality and start thriving. - ARCHIVE: The police and armed forces admit they've always had gays in their ranks. Staff at this gay newspaper think more gays may now want to join up. - And they'll say, 'Hey, it's not such a problem after all. 'I want to be a policeman or a soldier ` I think I'd be good at it ` 'and my sexuality may no longer be an issue.' - Like the Defence Force, the New Zealand Police entered a new era in 1993 after the Human Rights Act passed, allowing openly Queer people to serve. However, despite the change in official policy, the organisational culture still needed a shake-up. - You know, I joined in 2005, and at that time, our organisation was very black and white, and I wasn't open to... um... sharing, uh, my personal life, my sexuality. One of my senior colleagues, um, asked the question, 'How do we support our LGBTQI staff?' And I said, 'Well let's start with connecting our LGBTQI communities here into the station.' And my role now is to ensure that, um, any of our... LGBTQI staff that are walking through the door, joining our organisation, know that they can thrive. I'm passionate about that, because I wanna make sure that, um... I leave the organisation... better off than the one I joined. - REPORTER: A red-letter day for the boys in blue. Uniformed police officers marching at Auckland's Pride Parade for the first time, a sure sign of how times have changed. - Just to be able to get that trust within the community ` that gay and lesbian people can come to us when they do have issues. - In some of the training we delivered, we had some scenarios, so that our staff had an understanding of... how to deal with our whanau ` Rainbow whanau ` in a way that wouldn't, um... I suppose, takahi on their mana. There were a myriad of scenarios, but one of them was... pulling over a trans person that had a driver's licence that didn't connect to the person, how they could... better support that person, without... making them feel uncomfortable. - In 2018, the Auckland Pride committee made the controversial decision to ban uniformed police and corrections staff from marching in the pride parade. - We just don't wanna be seen to be pinkwashing an institution that still has work to do. - ...where they've had homophobic or transphobic experiences or racist experiences as a result of police behaviour. - We've been working so hard for so many years to bring them and us to the place we are today, and to see that torn to pieces, it's just not on, and it's not acceptable. - We couldn't go. We couldn't go in uniform, And it did impact our relationships with our Rainbow communities, and some of us had to lean in and do some work behind the scenes to mend the relationships. It was a bit a sore point, but, um... yeah, we might have been a part of... digging that hole. (CHUCKLES HUMOURLESSLY) - The Rainbow crossings in both Te Tairawhiti Gisborne and Auckland's Karangahape Road were vandalised by members of Destiny Church, leaving many in the Rainbow community feeling attacked. - This isn't just a road where I come for a coffee. This is actually my second home, and it's second home to a lot of queer people. - Yeah, it's not good. Just leave us alone. - This is a bloody nonsense. - Cos the crossing signifies... inclusiveness, and our staff were there to... hold the line and protect. Having them there to... protect our Rainbow communities was huge, and our Rainbow communities acknowledged them after that. - Alongside the vandalism of Rainbow crossings, there was also major protests against drag storytime readings at community libraries. - In Tairawhiti, it's been the Destiny Church. That church in particular has driven these protests. - Yes, we had heard through the Destiny Church that there was going to be a protest. We had major concerns for our staff, for our wider community, for our children. - It's not just, you know, a drag event at the library. There are many vulnerable, um, young people that... are looking. They are (SNIFFLES)... needing us to protect them. VOICE BREAKS: And so... seeing them do that... and` and` getting to, um... yeah, getting to see (SNIFFLES) that actually the training we had done prior (SNIFFLES) kick into action, and they were` Yeah, they were amazing. (INTROSPECTIVE MUSIC) (CROWD CHEERS, WHISTLES) - We've definitely made progress, and we have very strong anti-discrimination legislation. Government agencies ` like the police, immigration, social services ` are all very much aware of their duties around protecting and celebrating diversity. All of that is very positive, but we mustn't become complacent. We must remain vigilant and committed to protecting all New Zealanders, regardless of their ethnicity or their sexuality. - We all probably know a Queer person who's a teacher, a nurse, a police officer, in the military, but it's in pretty recent memory that they would have had to hide who they are to keep those jobs ` which is wild, right? It doesn't matter if it's a gay person or a straight person teaching me quadratic equations, I'm not gonna get it either way. As the public sector slowly catches up with the times, let's remember those who paved the way for equality in the workplace so we don't end up back in the shadows. Captions by Brigit Kelly. Edited by Tom Clarke. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.